Archive for December, 2014

star gazing

Posted in Uncategorized on December 22, 2014 by y

I was driving to nowhere a while ago and a song started playing on the radio. It’s the song that i used to sing to you before on some of our late night conversations. That one song that i’d sing after you say something that ends in  “what do you want?” because i would always feel like it goes naturally with it. Do you know that when i dream about you i still feel the same overwhelming love? But when i wake up, all i feel is the pain of losing you. Sometimes i still hope that i haven’t lost you forever. Even in my dreams you’re still holding my hand. I’m slowly understanding the reasons why i left. I’ve always wanted you. I still want you. But I would not put you in a situation where I wouldn’t have any control. Why? Because I cannot bear to see you regret being with me. Our situation has always been tough and you’ve put up so much with it. I cannot ask you to give much much more even if i know you’d be willing to in a heart beat. You are probably going to say, who am I to decide for your future or for what you want. But the thing is, I am the biggest factor of your decision. I hope you remember that. I love you always.

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home is where the heart is

Posted in Uncategorized on December 7, 2014 by y

it’s been almost a year since we last talked. I’m giving myself a year or two to see if my feelings for you are going to subside. But the thing is, i still think about you all the time. I miss you so much especially these days. There’s such a calmness in you that pacifies me and i dearly miss that too. Are you still waiting for me? Can i still come home to you?

Whatever happens, i will always love you.