Victims of love

Posted in Uncategorized on January 26, 2015 by y

this one best describes us…..

Our hearts have been to battle
Our souls have been to war
We’ve lost the will to carry on
We don’t believe no more
Wasn’t it we that said,
That this could never happen to us?
How wrong could we be?

’cause baby here we are
Victims of love

a broken down unfair
So sad to see the debris scattered everywhere
Victims of love, still cannot believe
We are the victims of love, we cannot retrieve

It used to be so easy , it used to be so good
We had an understanding that got misunderstood
I thought we were survivors and we never would go down
But now, we’re just outsiders as our love comes tumbling down

Maybe we played it a bit too sure
And everything was hearts and roses
But fate stepped in and closed the door
And we were just left standing

and we realized the ending was so near

Where do we go from here?

Victims of love

a broken down unfair
So sad to see the debris scattered everywhere
Victims of love

I still cannot believe
We’re the victims of love, we cannot retrieve

Lost in space

Posted in Uncategorized on January 26, 2015 by y

How have you been my love? I’ve been quite busy over the last couple of weeks. You are always on my mind, so please don’t get upset. No words could express how much I miss you.

I recently read something about losing someone. It says, “The worst loss is separation by death. People often think that when they distance themselves to the ones they love, that they have already lost. To some degree that could be the case, but when you actually lose someone because they died, that’s something that you will never be able to fully move on. You can swear to give everything you have for one chance of being able to hold that person again but it will never happen. It’s just how it is.”

I have mixed feelings about this. You know that I’ve already gone through this type of loss because you were with me the whole time. Yet, the separation between us now almost feels like the worst. You are alive and hopefully well, but i couldn’t touch you. I couldn’t even come near you. I could not talk to you or see you. The only difference this makes is that I’m still hoping that one day our universes will align themselves again. Maybe then I’d be sure enough to take that leap of faith. My love, when I lost you my heart died with it. So maybe some time in the future i’ll be able to bring it back to life.

I love you always.

star gazing

Posted in Uncategorized on December 22, 2014 by y

I was driving to nowhere a while ago and a song started playing on the radio. It’s the song that i used to sing to you before on some of our late night conversations. That one song that i’d sing after you say something that ends in  “what do you want?” because i would always feel like it goes naturally with it. Do you know that when i dream about you i still feel the same overwhelming love? But when i wake up, all i feel is the pain of losing you. Sometimes i still hope that i haven’t lost you forever. Even in my dreams you’re still holding my hand. I’m slowly understanding the reasons why i left. I’ve always wanted you. I still want you. But I would not put you in a situation where I wouldn’t have any control. Why? Because I cannot bear to see you regret being with me. Our situation has always been tough and you’ve put up so much with it. I cannot ask you to give much much more even if i know you’d be willing to in a heart beat. You are probably going to say, who am I to decide for your future or for what you want. But the thing is, I am the biggest factor of your decision. I hope you remember that. I love you always.

home is where the heart is

Posted in Uncategorized on December 7, 2014 by y

it’s been almost a year since we last talked. I’m giving myself a year or two to see if my feelings for you are going to subside. But the thing is, i still think about you all the time. I miss you so much especially these days. There’s such a calmness in you that pacifies me and i dearly miss that too. Are you still waiting for me? Can i still come home to you?

Whatever happens, i will always love you.

dreams

Posted in Uncategorized on October 6, 2014 by y

you are still in my dreams, very often at that. some of them hurt and i’d wake up crying. but mostly good. i hope you are still waiting. i love you always.

continuity

Posted in Uncategorized on August 24, 2014 by y

i miss you. i’ve been busy for the last couple of weeks but i still think about you. always. the thought of you never leaves me. i guess it’s going to be like that for a while and i’ve come to terms with it. i love you. always.

impulse

Posted in Uncategorized on July 17, 2014 by y

On the rare occasions that i feel this good about you and me, makes my heart a little bit at peace. Not that you and i had it bad, on the contrary, we had it all good until i walked away. Lately, on days like this i let myself bask in immense pleasure of a peace of mind. I get to sport a real smile and laugh at anything funny like how i was with you. So i keep telling myself that maybe, maybe this is how is going to be for me for a little while. I don’t care if it’s going to be a cycle as how i see it for now, but i’ll make it work somehow. Because you know why? It doesn’t hurt as much anymore to remember you. It’s not that i’m hurting because of you, but it hurts because of what happened to us. I could look at you now and think about good things that life could offer you. Whereas, that couldn’t have been possible when you were still with me. So you see, maybe this could be healthy for us both. And like i always say, maybe someday i will find my way back to you. One day i’ll stand in front of you and ask again if i’m still your one and only.

i love you always….